Making Friends With the Scale

It’s easy to make the scale the enemy.

You’re working out, you’re eating well, and then you step on the scale and “What the f-?!” Enter self loathing and judgment.

I never used to be able to weigh myself without it ruining my entire day. The number always scared me. It scared me the day I realized I was underweight at sixteen-years-old, and it scared me every day after when I decided to get healthy and put on weight.

I’m now a happy thirty pounds heavier than that teenager and me and the scale and I are on good terms. Since I understand it can still wreak havoc on many peoples happiness I wanted to share a few friendly tips.

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Here’s how I use it as a tool to help keep me healthy rather than one that throws me into emotional turmoil. Continue reading

Returning to Paris: Part 1 (The Arrival)

At the airport before flying to Toronto, and then onto Paris, I wrote this:

“It’s been two years since I left you. Almost thirty years that I’ve loved you.

When I last saw you my life was still in shreds. I was traveling through Europe and living out of my carry on with no real home and shreds of myself to cling on to. Around this time I received a love letter from a man I would later love (he now occupies my heart). I left to Canada to pursue a dream and never came back, partly because the memories of a life broken into pieces left me feeling fragmented all over again.

I am now coming back to you whole. Lighter. Happier. I must admit I’m nervous. But I’ve been shedding light on all the dark days of my past, and Paris, my love, you always did know how to shine for me. I’ll be seeing you.”

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A Sweet Escape

I am a firm believer in getaways.

Visiting Carmel is one of my favourite places to visit in the world.  It is where my beau, Derek, grew up, and where his amazing family resides.  Every trip here involves hiking, cycling, feasting, wine tasting, and socializing with incredible people.

But with all of that, especially over the holidays, my introverted nature demands a little quiet time away from it all.

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This trip, Derek and I were lucky enough to be provided with a sweet escape to the Hyatt Highlands shortly after New Year’s Eve.

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Resolutions

Hello 2016.

I celebrated the last eve of 2015 with my love and two close friends at their ranch with an epic feast and many libations.

At midnight we cracked a bottle of Moët & Chandon, I kissed my favourite lips in the entire world, and we lit sparklers under a big clear country sky.

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I am excited for the year ahead. And nervous. Continue reading

Teach Me How to Grieve

Teach me how to grieve.

Teach me how to say goodbye to someone I really never had a hold of.  Someone who lit up a room, warmed hearts, and gave security to insecurities.

Teach me to say goodbye to the past. To stop mourning old memories and make peace with the dark ones.

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Love It Back Together

It was a week of break ins.

This week someone broke in to the upstairs of the house while we were sleeping.

Later in the week another one of my homes was broken into, the bloodshed all over social media.

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Paris, the city that has loved and housed me over the years, was attacked.   Continue reading

Japan: Day Four and Five

I woke up the day after cycling sore and groggy.

But it was our last full day in Onomichi, and there was still a lot to see and do.

Under an overcast sky we set out as a group through the small city streets, passing a large lot of unlocked bicycles where students and workers park for the day.

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Japan: Day Three

I slept better than I anticipated.

At breakfast I doubled up on eggs and tofu and made sure to get my fair share of rice.  I went to my room, stretched, put on my gear and headed to the lobby.

The sun was shining and the air was warm but perfectly crisp as we walked over to collect our bikes.  We couldn’t have asked for better weather.

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Japan: Day One

You never know what to expect in Japan.

After a traditional breakfast of rice, fish egg and seaweed (my favourite), I headed to the conference room for our orientation.

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Here we learned about the motive to help Onomichi tourism thrive, a little more about this small shipping city in Hiroshima with a passion for cycling, and then introduced ourselves. Continue reading