Secrets of French Women

by Gillian on July 11, 2012

If you’ve been following my Paris diaries, you’ll see that when I first arrived in France to live there full time, I felt very inadequate.

As an 18-year-old young woman, I lacked the “je ne sais pas quoi” of the French women around me, had no secret handbook, no Louis Vuitton handbag, no beautiful shoes, and no effortless style and grace.
Paris
I never became that woman with the Hermes scarf and a cigarette dangling from my lips, but I did pick up a few secrets.

Over time my chignon became a little more effortless, I invested in some good pairs of shoes, I fell in love with beautiful lingerie, I lingered over my meals a little longer, and I was even given a hand me down Vuitton.

My low rise jeans were pushed to the back of my closet and my necklines became a little higher.  I gained a little more class and confidence which I’m still grateful for today.

So what is it about French woman?

This article explains it very well‘The French don’t covet packaged cookie-cutter beauty, au naturel is de rigeur, and less is truly more in France.’

On a personal level, here are some of the secrets I learned and observed during my time in France:

  • For fashion, invest in quality basics and buy a few affordable statement items.  In Paris, most women seem to own a fabulous trench, great jeans, a good pair of ballet flats, a selection of great scarves, quality cotton t-shirts, the perfect blouse and good cashmere.  Statement jewerly adds a trendy touch.
  • Master your coiffe.  French women always have great hair.  What’s their secret?  A good hair cut, staying true to their natural colouring, washing their hair every other day or every few days and mastering the chignon for those days in between.
  • Three meals a day, one or two sweet indulgences.  I love the culture behind food in France.  Everyone seems to eat a continental style breakfast (croissant/toast/cereal with orange juice and coffee or tea), a full lunch (big lunchtime salads are popular), a sweet snack in the afternoon (baguette with a hunk of dark chocolate, a small pastry), and a full dinner, with dessert.  While this seems super indulgent in our diet obsessed culture, these meals are usually fresh, seasonal, balanced, and add up to the same amount of calories or less that we eat in our several snacks per day or hearty second servings at dinner (the French rarely go for seconds).
  • Eat sitting down and savour.  If you walk down the street eating in France, at least three people will give you a look and say “Bon appetit”.  Eating is a ritual in France, at the same times every day, and it’s appropriate to sit down and savour.
  • Drink wisely.  While watching French women in restaurants and cafes, I noticed they’d usually have water, sparkling water. espresso, a Diet Coke or wine.  They rarely seem to drink their calories unless it’s in the worthy form of wine.
  • Embrace your personal beauty.  Sometimes in North America I feel like we’re all urged to embrace a current look or trend, even if it doesn’t suit our body, our colouring or ourselves.  French women have this way of embracing their grey hairs, their body types, their colouring, and their prominent features that make them even more beautiful.  Would Vanessa Paradis be as memorable without that gap between her teeth?  I think not.
  • Enjoy life.  Work hard, but enjoy the pleasures of life.  French women embrace the good things in life.  Chocolate, cheese, shopping, walking, reading poetry, sitting with a friend for hours with a bottle of wine.

These are are my personal opinions and observations.

kiss me

The truth is, French women aren’t supernatural.  They read gossip magazines, follow trends, try crazy diets and sometimes feel self-conscious too.  But they have a rich culture and a few secrets up their Comme des Garcons sleeves that we could learn from.

And while we’re on the subject, please check out my style profile and more French obsessions over at Nettika B’s beautiful photography blog.

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Danielle July 11, 2012 at 9:05 am

Since traveling to Paris this spring I’ve been reading more about the French food culture. It’s such a fantastic culture and so different from ours in many ways. I really enjoyed reading French Kids Eat Everything! Definitely more insight into how they eat and discussed a lot on our tendency to snack vs. the French 3 meals a day.

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:43 am

I’d love to read that book! I was a nanny in Paris for some kids who definitely didn’t eat everything, but the family was very modern and loved to get take-out pizza/Mcdonalds!

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Danielle July 12, 2012 at 8:41 am

I would recommend it! I don’t have kids and I even found it interesting. Haha. On the author’s blog she also does a weekly post of what French kids eat in their schools. Some of the menus look so yummy!

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 9:45 am

I just checked it out – love it! We went to school in France when I was very young but I still remember the cafeteria lunches! We also went to the Roquefort caves, and at first we thought “Ew stinky blue cheese”, but after seeing the caves and trying some my brothers and I couldn’t stop eating it! Still my favourite :)

I will have to integrate those rules with my kids one day!

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) July 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

When a girlfriend and I spent some time in the south of France we went to a friend’s house where she served her kids sweetbreads for lunch. they nom-nomed and my friend looked aghast! I’ll never forget it!

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Kailey July 11, 2012 at 9:13 am

I am dying to go to Paris, well just anywhere in Europe really. My best friends was just in Europe and she couldn’t get over how fresh all the food was – not processed just straight from the farm/bakery/butcher.

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:41 am

Yes – the freshness of the food is just as it should be! There is still processed crap/fast food, but far more of an abundance of quality options! You must make a trip!

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The Delicate Place (@misathemeb) July 11, 2012 at 11:10 am

i’m really proud of myself for FINALLY in my late 20s adopting most of those items. it’s simplifying my beauty/clothing routine and improved my overall lifestyle. eating foods close to the source gives me energy and my more natural approach to my looks saves me tons of time! i still play up my best assets but i have stopped focusing on the fact that i do not look like a cookie cutter california babe (mostly plastic anyways ;)

gil~ you have great style! i always tell you on instagram but i would definitely love to raid your closet, such chic pieces in there!

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:40 am

You are such a stylish beauty – I admire your every day elegance! I still need more cashmere, still building those perfect basics! And there’s not much in my closet, but you are welcome to raid :)

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Tiff @ Love Sweat and Beers July 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

Great tips. I will not be a French woman any time soon, but that doesn’t mean I can’t aspire to being a fabulous woman. :)

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Marie-Sophie July 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I admire the French eating culture! I live so close and still it’s different! I’d say, in Germany we also have a nice breakfast culture with main meals. We didn’t have all the “to-go” stuff until it came over from the US … and we actually call it “to-go” as there is no real German term. You aren’t supposed to take your coffee with you, you should stay a little and enjoy it, have a piece of cake or a roll with it. Every bakery here has great coffee! I’ve also heard from so many people that it is just easier to age in Europe.

But the styling tips – I am truly working on that! And yes, I would love to raid your closet (together with Melissa form the delicate place :-) ) … like I’ve already said, I miss your fashion posts!

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:39 am

What is a typical German breakfast? I love muesli and yogurt! Our German friends in France usually have a beautiful breakfast spread with fruit, muesli, yogurt, bread and jam and I love it. I had some amazing coffee in Berlin too, some of th ebest I’ve had!

Sorry for the lack of fashion posts – I hope the style profile on my friend’s blog helped ;)

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Michelle July 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Great post and I like that article you linked in there! I told an aunt once that when if/when I go grey, I plan to rock it and not cover it up and she was horrified. I haven’t colored my hair in years and in the past year I’ve stopped working against my natural wavy texture and finding ways to work with it. I love the French attitude… so comfortable and elegant! Not to mention, the less you mess with yourself, the healthier you are. (skin, hair, etc)

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:38 am

Couldn’t have said it better myself! I need to cut back on my hair colouring!

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Danielle July 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Love this post, my dear. I think you’ve captured the essence completely.

Also, beautiful style profile! You’re such a stylish stunner :)

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:37 am

Thanks beauty!

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Electra @ Vanilla Bean Lean July 11, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Such an AMAZING post!! I absolutely LOVE that it’s part of embodying the beauty to keep some au natural essence about them, instead of trying to fit into a mold. Absolutely something that is, in my opinion, lacking in the Western culture. Again, amazing post!

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:37 am

Thank you so much Electra! Agreed!

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Lisa July 12, 2012 at 12:00 am

I totally wish I was a French woman. I totally look up to their culture and eating habits as well. The way they eat is so out of the ordinary from us in Canada and the states. It is definitely a fascinating culture.

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:37 am

You are your fabulous self and you should wish to be no other! They definitely have a beautiful food culture – but we can embrace that wherever we are xoxo

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Stacey @ GymandKitchen July 12, 2012 at 7:53 am

These are some great observations! Excited to be your new follower! I need to start eating sitting down and savoring every bite. I’m usually so hungry I literally swallow all my food (unless I’m with company of course).

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Gillian July 12, 2012 at 7:59 am

Thanks Stacey! I struggle with that too when I’m starving!

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Katy July 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I love this post! I never thought of these as French habits but I already apply most of these in my daily life. The biggest thing is to ENJOY LIFE and not worry so much.

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lindsay July 12, 2012 at 10:11 pm

i love paris, but i always thought of myself as a villafranche girl. I adore it there! I adore you!

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Gillian July 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I’ve never been! But I’m a Tarn girl at heart – family resides in South West of France!

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