Most of us are raised with the idea that we should hate our thighs, wish for bigger breasts or longer legs. It’s practically taboo to say “I love my ass. I look great.” Women of all shapes and sizes complain about their body. And when one starts, others chime in. My greatest weapon against this is not to partake. Be confident in yourself, if for no other reason than it’s contagious.
Fat and thin shaming
These can be dropped too. It’s not our place to judge or make anyone feel less than perfect. Our bodies are a reflection of our genetics, our lifestyle, and sometimes something much deeper. When I was at my thinnest I was told countless times to eat a sandwich or that I looked malnourished. My thinness was not a result of trying to look like a model but a reflection of my depression and a need for control. The most helpful people spoke with love and concern. I’m not against tough love, but sometimes love is much more powerful.
Shame in general
Body shame, sex shame, food shame, career shame…stop it now. Be proud of who you are, what you are, and where you are at in your life. There is no right or wrong. It is all in your head. Live for yourself and be yourself and your world will grow and become ten times more radiant. Refuse the shame anyone else tries to clothe you in. You look too good to wear their problems.
A wise woman recently said to me “To please is a disease”. In trying to please everyone else we often forget to take care of ourselves. If we’re not feeling good we’re not helping anyone.
Down playing our worth
The women I know who ask for a higher income not only usually receive it, they are more respected for it. Time to step up to the plate.
Taking advice from media
The media doesn’t make money telling you that you’re great as you are. The things they sell come in pretty little packages but they might not be what you need. The truth is no one can tell you how to be happy or who, what and how to love. That’s up to you.
Needing someone else to make us feel valued
I have never needed someone to validate me or make me feel loved. But as I get older I can see the pressure to settle down and be in a relationship. Part of the reason I got married was because it seemed liked the right time. But you can’t hurry love, and hell, you’ve really got to love yourself first.
(P.S – You really are amazing. Exactly as you are right now. What would you like to change for women?)